Till the end

Monday 28 January 2008

Everything has come to an end although the earth still rotates, the sun still rises from the east, life still continues. Can i still feel the feeling of hurt or m i deeply hurt to the extend tt i no longer feel pain? If based on ur estimation tt u need 1.5 yr, shldn't it be less than 2 mths for me? Ridiculous. U r just 1 of them, liar! Have the urge to put down everything n go abroad n 散散心。Shld i just tender now n wait for 2 mths before i can go Taiwan for 23 days? Can i still wait for 2 mths? I dunno. I can't even describe how i feel now. Dun think tt a word sorry can compensate wat u have said. This is not the 1st time but y do i feel so pain now? Habits can be changed, initially will feel awkard, but sooner or later, will get used to it. Feelings can be changed too, but how long? How i wish it can be changed the next second. I no longer feel anything.

Feeling terribly sick, every breath i breathe i feel like my nose bleeding. When will i recover? I dun wan to be sick.

Saturday 26 January 2008

Was on MC for the past 2 days. Sore eyes, feeling feverish, not feeling well @ all. Recovering now. Not fun being sick loh although able to rest @ home but oso dun feel like doing anything cos not in a clear mind state.

Is this considered as playful? On one hand, i feel tt gg out wif other guys is not as fun as gg out wif u n on the other hand, i just couldn't resist the temptation of gg out wif others. Well, since i'm free n there is sm1 asking me out, then just go out loh. Feels tt there is nothing wrong gg out for a movie etc. Smmore i'm still single, although it matters to u but u can't commit yet. Mayb i just want to make u jealous. Isn't jealousy also a way showing tt u care n concern? Guys r super fickle minded species. A wk ago saying tt it doesn't matter then a wk later saying tt it matter. Isn't a wk too short for such a sudden change? N oso to put across the message tt i'm not tt available n u r not the only guy asking me out. Smtimes no harm playing a bit of mind games cos this will reflect the truth. No longer so naive as young, once discovered smthing not wrong, gonna end it asap. 长痛不如短痛。I just feel tt u r different, is my intuition accurate? I dun wan similar things to happen again. I dunno whether i'll have the courage to go through it another time.

Although i feel happy tt u r treating me better n better, i'm oso scared. The better that u treat me, the deeper i seems to walk into it. Do u noe tt if u pamper me too much, i'll get used to it n may become more demanding? 有种焦虑不安的感觉。。。I still dun understand y u told me tt's nothing feel insecure when i dun lose anything but only stand to gain? Will i gain or will i lose?

Feel tt u r really v gd to me. When i say depends on my mood tml whether i wanna meet u, u told me tt u'll confirm wif me tonite 12am cos sun already. When i dun wanna do too vigourous activities, u suggested gg to East Coast. When i dun wan to eat fried food, u suggest bak kut teh for lunch. 真的有幸福小女人的感觉。。。

想念雨天，想念你。。。

Sunday 13 January 2008

Got home around 3plus ytd, so tired... Went out from morning till midnite.

Interested in gg to farms but always no companion. Well, since YQ suggested gg n his frenz Samuel is driving so i just tag along. Seems tt the places i'm interested in, YQ is oso keen. Good tt found sm1 with common interest.

Well, this time u r exactly on the dot so we shall c. Alas, Samuel could only join us in the afternoon so our plan to visit farms in the morning gotta be changed. We were thinking of where to go while having our breakfast. YQ suggested national museum but i dun wan cos i was quite casually dressed. So i siggested West Coast n we agreed. Well, when the train reaches Jurong East, we make an impromptu decision n headed to Science Centre. I think i have not visited the Science Centre for almost a decade le. Just like the comforatability wif him cos we can just change our mind as n when we want.

We bought the package which included admission and 1 imax movie. I nvr went to omni-theatre b4, so suaku of me. Lots of exhibitions tt we didn't finished all. Left around 1plus cos our stomach are calling for SOS. After having our lunch, we decided to head to West Coast after tt. Just when we reach Jurong Entertainment Centre, Samuel is coming to pick us up. The 1st farm tt we went to is Qian Fu Fish Farm. Lots of fishes there n the only thing tt interest me is fish spa cos i'm not those breeding n rearing fish so dun really noe how to appreciate. The fish spa is quite worth it. $10 for 30min. Feel quite ticklish inititally but after a while, got used to it. My legs attracted a lot of fishes tt YQ n his frenz keep making fun on me. There was a lady sitting beside me n her legs only attract less than 10 fishes.

All the fishes are attracted to my legs, haha...

After Qian Hu, we headed to the dragon fruit farm. Not many ppl there cos it was drizzling. Nice to be in touch wif the naturals. We bought 1kg of red dragonfruit (only 2 dragonfruits loh) there n eat. One was sweet but another was not so sweet. After tt, we headed to the frog farm. Didn't went to goat farm cos it closed at 4pm. The frog farm was pathetic, seems to be an abandon place, only catch a few glimpse of some frogs. We left shortly.

Dragon fruit

We were driving a few rounds around the Lim Chu Kang cos our GPRS (i.e. YQ) did not seems to be able to read map properly. Not tt i wanna suan u lah, but it's just the fact. I'm much better than u, so in the future when u got car, u drive while i read map. We wanna head to another farm but bcos our GPRS told us the wrong way, we headed to to Farmart. Farmart is a place where there are a row of shops selling farms related stuff, got a hawker centre can eat ZhiCha, got some animals like rabbit, goats, hamsters. There is oso a place to fish prawn but YQ n Samuel prefer other places where they fish prawn. We were quite hungry already cos it's almost 7plus. We headed to Pasir Panjang for our dinner, they ordered 4 plates of seafood, 1 plate of kangkong n oso satay. I'm not big eater so most are finished by them. After tt, we went to Bishan to fish for prawn. Nvr tried b4, my colleague tried n she comment tt it's fun n interesting. Can get hooked to it wow.

We fished from 9plus to 1plus. I tried a few times n only caught1 . ^_^" Need a lot of patience, not easy. After tt, we BBQ all the prawns tt we caught. Yummy, it's nice.

BBQ prawn

Enjoyed myself quite a lot ytd. Did quite a lot of things tt i seldom did or nvr done b4. Just tt i seems to be neglected. Smmore feel tt Samuel seems to notice tt i'm bored n my needs more than u. Although u r concern abt me, can u be more sensitive to my needs? Just feel disappointed tt other ppl can notice me more than u. Hmm.. dunno still wanna go out wif u again?

想念雨天，想念你。。。

Friday 11 January 2008

Haven't been blogging for the past few days. Seems tt nowadays i become busier, busy until i haven't finished reading the past few days newspaper. Time flies, a week has just gone by.

Ain't ppl gotta keep their promise? I'm tired of being compromising again and again. I gotta change my itenarary, change my flight, incur extra charges, who gonna compensate me for this? How long i wanna go there is my choice n the money tt i gonna spend is oso mine. I just feel like spending so wat has it got to do wif other ppl? Ppl's mindset will change. Well, it's not tt i'm no longer thrifty, i just feel tt it's worthwhile to spend, can i even have the right? If tt's the case, i will never have the chance to go europe to backpack for a mth. The only chance tt i have is only when i quit my job n without another job waiting for me, otherwise it's impossible.

I feel tired but glad tt u r there for me. U cheer me up when i'm down n give me the strength n motivation.

Just dun understand y i did wavered on tt day. Y shld i wavered when sm1 who only finds me only when bored? Smmore disappeared for quite a while. Mayb bcos on tt day when i tell u tt i really appreciate u for being there for me n u joke abt it. Make me feel tt u dun appreciate wat i sincerely said from the bottom of my heart. Am i sm1 who will look for u when i need a laugh or two? U make me feel sad tt day. But before end of tt nite, i had come to a conclusion, u r not sm1 who will only look for me when u r bored. I dun wan to be sm1 whom ppl will look for when they are bored cos if i'm not of importance to them, i rather be nothing. N today another say i'm dao. Who r u to me n y shld i be so friendly wif u? By replying ur msg in msn, m i considered dao? I just have nothing to chat wif u tt's all so y shld i initiate to msg u whenever i'm in msn? These brunch of ppl r just so funny cos they are from Mars. I will only give attention to the one who give attention to me.

想念雨天，想念你。。。

Saturday 5 January 2008

Finally bought a watch tt i fancy and within my budget. Other than watch, oso bought lingerie today, wow... John Little got lots of discount, being a member can enjoy additional discount n somemore application is free and can oso earn pts to offset future purchase, not bad. Well, now my to buy list only left wallet. Oso wanna make a new pair of spec but usually i only wear spec @ home so smtimes feel like making one then the next moment dun wan le. Fickle minded. Mayb i may make a new pair on impulse. Just like i cut my hair. Yup, i cut my hair short n rebond it.

Nvm just take my time. Smtimes good stuff r worth waiting. No pt buying smthing n in the end discovered tt dun really like it.

Indeed feel tt the recent me is much much happier than before, hmm.... just have the feeling of 幸福。 No matter how down i am, i just noe tt there wld be sm1 there for me although he prefer Cheers to 7-11 but i prefer 7-11 to cheers. Smhow just feel tt u r different from those previously. Hmm... is feeling 100% accurate? It's a relative term rather than an absolute term. 感觉本来就不需要理由。。。喜欢就是喜欢。。。想念就是想念。。。

想念雨天，想念你。。。