Wednesday 31 October 2007
Tml is my last lesson... which means exams coming soon... Just started to gain the drive to study over the wkend, so gonna maintain it over the next few wkends. Then this fri can wake up late, gonna make use of fri to study too. Initially was on leave for the last 2 fri but in the end, took half day leave only n in reality not exactly half day leave loh. Haiz....
Was feeling quite happy this morning cos it's wed n 1 more day, i gonna rest. But @ the end of the day, not feeling good. Wanna left on the dot but in the end left @ 7plus. Sian.... How come my life is always occupied wif work work work??? Can't my life be occupied wif others? Sometimes feel tt i'm live not for the sake of living for myself but for my work, tt's really wat i feel for the past 3 yrs. Really feel tt everytime i have to priorities my work on top of others n i dislike the feeling now. Mayb for the past 3 yrs, i just buried myself in work n study. Now i wan something different. Wanna live more for the sake of making myself happy.
Life is short so must cherish... Feel more n more recently. Probably developed phobia while taking bus recently cos the bus driver always jerk n i always feel tt gonna meet wif an accident.
Is it the rain tt washes away my unhappiness? Feel sian n down after work, wanna vent it out. Hope to have a listening ear but i empathise u not being able to fulfil the promise due to sickness. Just feel calm n peace now. Blogging is my other listening ear. Hmm... Is Cheers better 7-11? Times will tell. Like the current arrangement. Tt's lots more to unrevealed.... Until the time is ripe. Not fun being sick so u must get well soon then can continue the mystery n fun. N mayb one day, we shall realise our mission. But find out where is my beloved Santorini 1st!
Tuesday 30 October 2007
Feel much better today, after ytd nite.... At least i've done something which i wanna do...So even if something happen the next moment, i oso wouldn't feel regret tt i miss out something which i wanna do but didn't do. Life is just so unpredictable.
Monday 29 October 2007
Today feel tt life is so precious. While travelling on the bus to office today, the driver was quite reckless, a couple of times, the bus nearly crash into the car infront. Feel so horrified of taking tt bus. Then when the bus was reaching plaza singapura bus stop, saw a bus with the front window being clashed n broken. OMG... But luckily no one was injured. Life is just so unpredictable, nobody will noe wat will happen the next moment. Somehow i dun feel angry now. Really dunno y i feel so angry over the wkend. Yah... dun wanna live wif regret. Do wat i wanna do.....
想念雨天，想念你。。。
Sunday 28 October 2007
Feeling super, extremely ANGRY!!!! ANGRY, ANGRY, ANGRY!Y i dun feel sad @ all?Just b'cos of "That's it"Volcano erupting soon....心已死了。。。莫名其妙。。。At least the blog wouldn't tell me "That's it"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Friday 26 October 2007
If everyday i can wake up naturally w/o being woke up by anything, how good would it be. Initially today was on leave. My junior was returning after having exams today and initially my boss wanna ask her to go to office ytd after her exams, i was thinking huh... well so i suggest tt i return to office for a while so that i can go through wif her wat she need to finished.
Wake up @ 8.30am, how i wish tt i could wake up @ such time everyday. Stay @ office until around 4pm before i left... dun seems like half day leave rite? Then went to taiwan tourist assocation @ UIC building. Hmm... not much brochures there... most of them i've already. Yah, those travel brochures that i have is > 3 A4 paper boxes. Now i'm really running out of boxes for additional brochures. Nvr enuf boxes for me....
Sian..... must really pull myself n study le, only left a mth... y no motivation? Super sian....
Initially wanna blog then now dun really feel like blogging.... stupid weather, so hot... make me more moody... Already feeling moody. The weather is extremely hot today... Y am i born in a tropical region, shld born in a temperate region.... Y my mum live in S'pore leh???? Super hot today.... monsoon season pls come soon.... I miss raining days....Wash away all the heats n my bad moods....
Hmm is it i'm angry? Y shld i be angry? Nothing to angry mah... Mayb weather make me angry, always blame the weather...
When my mood is better then blog... 2day really mood not good...
Wednesday 24 October 2007
Decided not to go anywhere during the last wk of dec... hard to find travel companion... everywhere so expensive... Most likely stay @ home n rest, go shopping cos surely got sales, do research n plan for my trip to taiwan in apr.
Hmm... so many things to plan for the trip, how many days i gonna spend there, when to book my airticket, wat is the cheapest airfare, which places i wanna go to... how much is my budget for accomodation, transport, food, shopping etc... Gonna spend a lot of time doing all these research...N must find a time to visit Taiwan Tourism Association to get those brochures. Then my mom gonna nag @ me.... always say tt everytime i go travelling like stressing myself up. Actually i dun feel tt i stress myself up, mayb i devote a lot of time to doing research... Well, if dun wanna do research, then might as well join package tour... or tag along wif friends... If wanna make decisions, of course must DIY rite? N if i dun do research, how can i blog abt my trip explaining wat places i been to, the significance of the place... Hmm... sometimes i think i overdo it but i just enjoy doing research on the places i wanna go. It's really the feeling tt "Oh this is the place ah... n finally i've been to the place", tt type of satisfaction. Yah yah yah, only i understand tt feeling, my mom wouldn't understand.
N most likely i dun have budget constraint on my trip since i would still be working before n after i'm back from the trip. Gonna save until Apr n spend spend spend on my trip, dun care ah... even if i spend $5k, it's still worth it...but i dun think will reach $5k... Mayb most ppl feel tt i'm too thrifty le... Actually it's not tt case, i just wan my money to be well spend... When i spend the money, i must feel happy after spending it n i dun feel regret spending it... tt's wat i considered money well spend. At the moment, i really feel tt i dun really lack anything that money can buy.. tt's y i dun really feel happy even if i spend it. Think the most expensive thing i purchased this yr shld be hp bah, to me it's really dun bring me the level of happiness tt i spend on my trip. Sometimes i feel like buying a laptop but somehow i dun think it's really a need at this moment since i still have PC @ home although sometimes i dislike rotating turn to use the com wif my sis. Can't ppl just understand tt all these monetary items to me is not a NEED? Why shld i care abt wat other ppl think, heck care...
Hope to filled up wat i need to make myself more complete. It's not the process of finding wat u need/ lack which is difficult but the part of filling it up is difficult. I dun really lack anything since most of the things seems to go wif my flow n not against me. I wan a long break n i got it. Somemore dun need to worry abt my cashflow for the next 6 mths since i still have income, can spend w/o constraint on my trip. Can sell my investment as n when i wan, not b'cos of lacking cash but b'cos i wanna accumulate my wealth. Less stress recently... n some audit jobs r coming to an end... but oso some new coming... feel stress then tell my boss... let him handle those difficult client... or mayb take a day or so leave to rest. Just dun overstretch myself n hang on until apr n i just let go of myself... to rejuvenate myself... do something tt i've been hoping for so long. N if 1 more thing comeby then it's a bonus to me. Well, let nature take all it's course.
Monday 22 October 2007
Tonite is such a good weather... my favourite weather... rainy day.... Although i noe gg out on rainy day is a hassle... but staying @ home is so comfortable especially lying on my bed...
Wanna blog but in the end, spend my time chatting wif friends in msn, watching soccer highlights, browsing website... haha.... always 分心。。。
My boss agreed to me taking a mth leave in Mar/Apr wow.... Didn't expect this... Well... most likely staying until Jun bah... Since we agreed tt after i took a long break, i'll go back then after tt he'll oso take a long break n we shall dicuss when he's back after returning from break. While in between, when i feel tired, i would be taking short break... C how it goes...
Having a long break is one of the reason y i'm happier recently... Finally... feel happier.... Able to do something tt i like.... Something tt keep me gg on....
Sometimes really hope tt there is someone sharing wif me my joys n sorrow..... But oso dun wan someone to become a priority in my life when i am just an option in their lifes. When u r an option, u wish to be a priority. When u r the priority, is it really wat u wan? Dilemma....
Even if someone tell me tt i can find tt person to chat.... i oso dun wan it to be always like tt...although there is someone to listen to my joy n sorrow.... sooner or later... it become a habit... when i'm so used to this habit n when there is changes.... it become so hard to change....
I'm so used to being alone for the past 3 yrs... sometimes i oso wonder whether i can devote part of my time to another person or not... can i be understanding when all these while i dun need 2 bother abt caring for others n only myself? wat if we get to noe each other better n better... u discovered i'm not good enuf? u discovered tt i got so many flaws? u discovered tt i'm not as cute as u thought? u discovered tt i'm not as humourous as u thought? So many IFs......
Feelings will come n pass, it may not stay... now may find tt there is just so much so much... the next moment may be just so little so little... Relationship is just so complicated... I just wan a simple life!!!
Sunday 21 October 2007
被想念。。。
是一种负担
因为不想被想念
被想念。。。
会让人疑惑
因为不知背后的意义
神秘未必是一件坏事
熟悉未必是一件好事
不想因为一时的好奇
破坏一切的美好
突然好想安慰你
这是出于怜悯吗？
因为自己曾经历过
知道那并不容易
时间永远是最好的治疗方法
就让时间冲淡一切
不想什么都变成习惯
因为习惯会成自然
想要改掉是多么的困难
与其让它变成一种习惯
不如避免它变成一种习惯
对的时候遇到对的人
是多么快乐的事
不对的时候遇到对的人
会是怎样的事
不想去想
因为不想自己困扰
怎样才是对的人
几时才是对的时候
谁都不知道 。。。
Just watch the MV of SHE 我爱你 n was feeling so sad. All along, i like this song but nvr watch the MV b4. Then out of a sudden, feeling curious abt the MV, went to youtube to watch it. The story in MV was so touching tt i cried after watching. After watching the MV, i become so sentimental, shld restrict myself from watching such in the future... Sometimes i really wonder in real life, is there such a dramatic romanance or not? But i doubt none of the girls would not want such a dramatic romance bah, even if it's only once a lifetime... But not everyone have such a luxury to have such romance.
爱是一个好深奥的学问。。。如果爱一个人，就应该成全他， 这才是爱！
Saturday 20 October 2007
Today went for family dinner @ Taste Paradise 味之楼 @ Chinatown. Wanna bring my family there cos saw on TV tt the food is nice... N it's one of the top 100 restaurant in S'pore. Book a reservation @ 6.30pm. We left our house only @ 6pm n luckily there was 190 coming soon after we reach the bus stop. We reach Chinatown within 40min... tt's fast.
Have not taken a photo wif my sis for quite long time le...
My sis seems to become more photogenic in taking photo than me liao... haha...
The food are delicious but for some dishes, portion r small as it's serving for 1 person. We ordered only 1 portion so that we can share n try. Gotta order rice cos my dad is typical 中国人 must eat rice one.. otherwise wouldn't feel full.... So everytime if bring my dad out for meal, my sis n i must crack our brains which restaurant got serve rice?
From top left : Carrot cake in XO sauce, Taste combination ( Foie gras, wahsabi prawn & peking roast duck in crepe), Fried rice, Pig trotter Vermicille
From top left : Baked cod fish, Champagne foie gras, Almond tea, Shark fin
Seems like me n my sis like to pose a lot
More pose & taken wif my parents
Ytd my boss brought my colleague n i to vivo city sushi tei for lunch. He oso give me a box of chocolate as a bday gift. For all the 3 yrs tt i've been working here, i nvr celebrate my bday wif my colleague n boss. Just how come this yr??? Anyway i nvr publicise n give hints on my bday 2 get ppl's attention. Probably since primary sch, my bday always fall in the exams period, so somehow i dun seems to celecbrate it. N now i'm so getting used to it tt it's just another day for me. Frankly speaking, if i'm really happy everyday, tt's already good enuf.
Posted some photos taken during ytd lunch:
Me & My colleague
Me & my boss
(My boss looks quite young rite? Tt's wat everyone say so... )
Thursday 18 October 2007
Today is my 8400th day on this earth.... Wow..... didn't noe tt i have been on earth 4 so long....
Firstly, took 1/2 day leave this afternoon, was so damn tired.... had been working late for 3 consecutive days. When i dun have enuf sleep, i really feel like a walking corpse... Can't think properly, brain dead..... When my boss reach office, i told him tt i wanna apply for leave in the afternoon, wanna ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz..... Then u noe wat my boss say? He say shld tell him earlier tt i can't come on time, then i can come back later since i work late ytd. How i noe????????? He nvr say b4 mah... He's boss so can come anytime he like, i'm employee so how can come anytime i like one.... Anyway he approved my leave... If he dun approve, i can't think properly, can't work well, he oso no choice...
Reach home @ around 3pm after having lunch wif CH. Thks 4 ur treat, CH. Then went to sleep, so so so tired.... Wake up @ around 6plus. One of my bday wish would be to sleep for 100 yrs.... Haha... But too bad no prince charming 2 wake me up, so can sleep for infinite time.... feel much better after sleeping, simply too exhausted. Mayb my previous life didn't sleep enuf so this life must compensate wat i lack previously.
I'm not those v particular abt bday, if i'm everyday happy, then better than happy only on bday rite?
Mum just give me Ang Bao wow... Although it's only $100 but it's her 心意 which counts. Previously read a sec friend's blog, her mom give her $1,000 on her bday. wow....
Book a reservation @ 味之楼, a restaurant @ chinatown... Gonna have family dinner on sat nite... Wanna try the food there cos this restaurant is listed in the top 100 restaurant in S'pore. Noe abt this restaurant when watching 都是大发现. Will blog abt it abt sat nite.
Well... wat shld be my wishes this yr? hmm...
-Stay healthy & plenty of sleep....
-Be happy....
All the rest mah.... 顺其自然
Tuesday 16 October 2007
Just wanna say i really feel happier now... No matter how frustrated my client make me or how busy my work make me. Hope my happiness will last longer.
Friday 12 October 2007
Was thinking the whole morning ytd on wat i shld do in the afternoon. Finally decided to go n sing kbox. Long long time didn't go already n i'm v outdated, dunno those new songs. Spend 3hrs alone singing, actually sometimes being alone is oso a luxury. Mayb i shld try doing other things alone.
Previously sing this song b4 but i seldom pay attention to the lyrics in the song. Somehow while singing ytd, i pay attention to the lyrics n the lyrics seems to describe wat i'm feeling abt now. N i oso noted tt my chinese standard has decrease cos sang quite a lot of wrong words, OMG, gonna read more chinese words n brush up.
对的人(戴爱玲)
你问在我心中 是否还苦恼那次受伤否决了爱的好
谢谢你的关照 我一切都好
一个人 不算困扰
爱虽然很美妙 却不能为了寂寞又陷了泥沼
爱要耐心等待仔细寻找感觉很重要
宁可空白了手等候一次真心的拥抱
我相信在这个世界上 一定会遇到对的人出现在眼角
那次流过的泪让我学习到
如何祝福如何转身不要
在眼泪体会到与自己拥抱 爱不是一种需要 是一种对照
爱虽然很美妙 却不能为了寂寞又陷了泥沼
爱要耐心等待仔细寻找感觉很重要
宁可空白了手等候一次真心的拥抱
我相信在这个世界上 一定会遇到对的人出现
能愿意为了一份爱付出去多少 然后得到多少并不计较
当我想清楚的时候我就算已经准备好
放手去爱 海阔天高喔--- 耶----
爱要耐心等待仔细寻找感觉很重要
宁可空白了手等候一次真心的拥抱
我相信在世界上 一定会遇到对的人出现
爱要耐心等待仔细寻找感觉很重要
宁可空白了手等候一次真心的拥抱 我相信在这个世界上一定会遇到 对的人出现
Sleep v early @ 10plus, probably partly b'cos of singing n oso sleep v late the previous nite. Wake up @ 7.30am n went for 1h Yin yoga class. Most likely will be studying in the afternoon, yup, must put in extra effort to get myself into the momentum to study. Other than attending class, i didn't even touch my notes @ all. Gone r the days of my good student image who diligently study n do tutorials, nowadays i can't say tt i'm a good student anymore.
Recently i feel a bit more happier, mayb there will be more happy things coming. Who noes?
Today i'm on leave!!!!!!!! Finally i can sleep until i wake up naturally. Wake up @ 9.30am today, actaully it's already late lah. As i only turn in @ 1plus ytd, waking up at 9.30am means i only sleep for 8 1/2 hr. Now yawning again le... Gonna sleep earlier 2nite. Ytd is an exception.
Didn't attend class ytd although the next day i dun have to work. Well, although on thu i feel quite tired n intially i wanna attend class. But all b'cos of work.... I really think i have gone to the extend tt the only cure to manage my stress level is to stop work completely. No matter wat has been done, once a small little thing crop up, i'll feel stress again. N i really hate those stupid clients!
Now wif something to look forward to, i seems to gain back my drive n will to pull myself to end of jan n after tt i'll have complete break although i still lack the energy. Dun have to face these stupid client again in the next yr. Although i feel sentimental abt my boss telling me tt he'll miss me after i leave, 天下没有不散的宴席。It's like children would still leave their parents when they started their own family. Well, although i've been stagnant recently but i dun wanna myself to decline.
Somehow i seems to dislike things tt r nvr ending. Cos from primary sch to poly, will progress from one stage to another stage. So i think it's time for a change n i noe there is so much uncertainty ahead. BUT i really look 4wrd to the long break which i really crave for. N i can finally fulfil my trip to taiwan, has been postphoning for the past 2 yrs. It's like a dream come true.
Yup, i oso learn a lesson ytd. Whenever there is problem must resolve it immediately, if sit on it, the issues will start to ball-roll. I think i've been sitting on problems for too long. Now the problem is a bit out of my control le.
Just check tt air asia got promo, tix 2 bangkok is $8... wow... so cheap. N air asia is starting flight to phuket n curerntly the promo is $1. Well, just done a quick check, althought the air fare is $1 but plus tax, the return flight tix is $150 but tiger airway airfare is $1.99, plus tax for return flight is $127.98. So which means tt although air ticket w/o tax is cheaper but does not mean the final amt is cheaper. Seems like air asia tax is much more expensive. Hmm.. ask my sis whether she wanna go bangkok then can go 2gether, somemore she dun need 2 take leave if we go on good friday wkend. But if i go bangkok in mar then in apr i gg taiwan again... hmm... dunno got enuf $$ or not.
Wednesday 10 October 2007
Hmmm dunno wat's wrong wif me recently, somehow no matter wat, i dun seems to feel happy @ all. Is it tt i become emotionless? Hmmm.....
Seldom blog nowadays, probably nothing to blog, life is dull.
Dunno where to go @ yr end? Change plan since next yr intend 2 go taiwan for a mth. Haiz... so fan dunno where to go....
Monday 8 October 2007
I finally tender my resignation today. Agreed wif my boss tt i'll work until end of jan since i've to give 2 mths notice. We oso agreed tt i'll be on leave on every fri from this wk to 1st wk of nov since i still have to attend class on thu nite. Then i will oso be taking leave on my working sat so which means i'll not be working from this sat to end of dec..
This arrangement give me more rest which is wat i really need at the moment. Dun have 2 wake up early on fri especially when i return home late on thu nite.
Then my boss oso told me tt he'll be giving out 1 mth of bonus in Jan. So now i dun have so much financial concern le, still can give my parents some $$ when i get my bonus.
My current saving to Jan will be > enuf to last my fixed expenses for 6 mths... so which means even if i'm out of job until Jul next yr, i'm still ok. Haha... i dun have fixed expenses other than my insurance premium, yoga fees n internet bill. I'll be fully paying off my CPF in Dec so not a problem to me next yr.... All other expenses to me r variable.
Thinking of gg to taiwan for a mth after i quit. Was worried abt my pocket previously, but now wif saving until jan + bonus, shld be sufficient for my 1 mth trip as i projected tt i need ~ $3k. If my pocket r tight mah, mayb will sell my investment bah.. Hmm... dunno when the economy gonna burst? Gonna monitor the mkt.
This early bday present just come the rite time.
Wednesday 3 October 2007
Wow... within a period of 5 mths, i've posted 42 posts in my blog n it's overtaking my travelogue post liao. Seems like i'm not travelling much in the 2nd half of the year. Just discovered tt someone actually post a comment in my travelogue, cos it's a comment not a tag, so didn't discover it until i click on my posts. Hehe... tt person comment tt my krabi trip is interesting, actually this person blog is oso v interesting. N i thought tt it's a SHE. Now i noe it's a HE. Cos no photo of him in the blog but dunno y i feel tt it's a SHE. So my sixth sense is wrong.
Somehow i feel tt blogging on my most recent trip to bintan is not as good as my previous trip. Hmm.. is it really nothing much to write for tt trip or is it my standard decrease liao? Sad ah... if my standard really decrease. So my friends who read it pls tell me.
After 4 days of resting, today went back to work. Anyway i've come to the conclusion tt my chest pain is b'cos of stress. Ytd went to c the Company's doctor n noe wat the doctor diagnose? He said tt's my stomach got wind so he prescribe medicine for my stomach. After taking the medicine, i dun feel better at all! So human judgement really makes a lot of difference. Sounds familiar? Cos auditor always have to make judegement.
Dunno y today i discover tt actually i still like my job, probably just tt i'm tired recently. I'm actually a bit surprised cos i thought i dislike to the limit few days ago. Anyway, have a long talk wif my boss. He gonna shift some of my work load so tt i wouldn't feel so stress. N for some of the task, he will do it together wif me. Well, we shall c how it's goes bah. If after all these arrangement, i still can't take it, i think i really need to go for another path le. My boss bought me 2 East Coast 2day for lunch. Have not been to East Coast for a long long time, think the last time is in ploy bah. Suddenly have the urge to learn cycling. Not a bad idea cycling from one end to another end. But sadly to say, i dun noe how to cycle. =( Fall down too many times when i'm young while learning cycling tt i give up cos a lot of bruises on my knee. Now so old already then learn cycling, sure being laugh by people one.
Came across someone's blog n i like this photo a lot. Dun feel like it's in S'pore rite? I have this feeling n thinking of visiting this place. Anyway this blog entry is quite interesting: http://crazyideas21.spaces.live.com/Blog/cns!A1EB89D84F544887!314.entry We always complain tt S'pore is too small, no place to go, so boring. After reading this person's blog, it's give me some suggestions on places which i never been or seldom been to. Actually there r a lot of places tt i wanna go but it's just tt those places r not v accessible n tt's y it deter me from going. Haiz....
Monday 1 October 2007
How luxury it is to wake up at 9am naturally without anyone waking me up on Mon morning! Spend my morning doing my ethics module after waking up. Although it's not compulsory, but i just attempt it anyway cos who noe's in the future, ACCA would make this module mandatory for me.
At around 2plus, went to Choa Chu Kang polyclinc to see doctor. Feeling pain in my chest for the past few days. Luckily within 2 hrs, i'm finished my consultation n collected my medication. Usually have to wait for at least 2hrs plus for consultation, dunno y there is so many people in the polyclinic. I really think that my chest pain is b'cos of stress. Before i started work, i dun feel chest pain at all, it's only after started work tt i feel it once in a while especially when i'm v stress otherwise it'll be headache. But the chest persistaining feel painful for the past few days. The doctor say tt it could be b'cos of stress n prescribe me some muscle relaxer. Haiz... not long term solution. I feel tt my health is giving out red signal already. The only solution should be REST! But how long would it takes? 1 mth? 2 mth? I really dunno but wat i noe is i definitely need a REST. Frankly speaking, i once tell myself tt if 1 day i were to quit, it's definitely b'cos of my health. If it's b'cos of work or salary, i would have change job long ago. But it's seems tt my health is unable to withstand too long. Even these few days when i'm not working, i still feel pain. I doubt my boss would be able to give me a mth long leave to rest which is y resigning is the only solution.
I have reach the point where i really can forgo my career tt i've built up for 3 yrs. Nothing is more important than my health. Even with the good career n salary, it can't be measured against my health. I no longer feel sentimental abt anything. Just wanna let go of everything....
Me & My colleague
