Wednesday 26 September 2007
Finally, i pluck up my courage to tell my boss. Have been thinking the whole nite n this morning when i wake up, my heart feel so pain... must be too stress.. usually feel heart pain when i'm too stress or too sad..
Isn't it ironic tt i feel tt the feeling of being valued is a burden to me? I really dun wan my boss to value me so much. Tt's wat i'm really afraid of. Cos i really dun wan tt the moment i leave, it'll have a major impact. N precisely tt's y he dun me to quit. Haiz.... He ask me to take 2 days leave n rest. I really need a rest but is 2 days enuf? I dunno, but just take 2 days 1st otherwise i really gonna break down. Really feel tt there r tons n tons of work. Tml gonna clear as much as possible, hopefully can take leave on fri n next mon otherwise i dunno still got energy to wait until sat or not?
Tuesday 25 September 2007
I guess i must v tired of wat i've doing all these while tt i've reach the point tt i HATE it. I seldom have such strong feeling for anything. I must be on the verge of the breaking point.
I think i'm those type of people who once start to like something, i can really like it v much no matter what. But once i dislike something, no matter what, i will dislike it v strongly. Cos for the past few days, my feelings for disliking grew stronger n stronger although nothing stimulates it. Once i dislike it, my heart n soul disappear.
I have been giving careful thoughts for the past few days. I've been considering when is it rite time, now to me, Jul08 seems such a distance from me. Ytd i was thinking, i doubt i'll have the energy to wait until Jul08, y not end it after CNY? Just get a mth then pack n go. I was considering whether 4-5mths of time is worth a mth of bonus. To my conclusion, $ is not everything. If halfway through, i really break down, then even 2-3 mths of bonus is not worthawhile.
Then today, i suddenly feel like packing n go next mth, i feel tt my feet r dragging me n how long can i withstand? I just mention tt $ is not everything, but if i pack n go next mth, my financial will have a bit of problem. Tt's y previously i feel tt the earliest time is after CNY, by then, i'll finished paying my CPF liability n plus the next few mths of saving, shld be able to substain me for a while. Ytd i was just telling my mom tt now i dun have any family commitment isn't it good tt i rest for a while? With family commitment, i doubt i can make such a decision easily. Then today, i feel tt even without family commitment, i still have so many things to consider. Ahhhhh.......... y is life so complicated?
Saturday 22 September 2007
Now i finally understand wat is the feeling of doing things which you dun like. It's like 度日如年. When shall i end this?
Monday 17 September 2007
Recently feel v slack. Dun feel like doing anything, feel v moody. Haiz.... y i'm so moody?
Received a sms from my poly friend ytd n she invite me to her ROM. Now then i realise tt we r of suitable age to get married. Cos since i graduated from poly, i only attended my ex-colleague wedding n she oso got married at quite a young age - 25. To me, getting married before 30 is considered young to me. Mayb b'cos i'm still single, tt's y i say so. Anyway my friend is a few yrs older than me, she must be of a mature age to get married le bah.
Sometimes, i oso wonder whether i would meet my mr right? Cos i feel tt my social circle is quite small but i oso dun feel like purposely widen my circle. Sometimes i'm oso quite happy wif my current life. Carefree with no commitment, only commitment is work n study. Feeling suffocated juggling wif these two already.
I long for a long long break. Like this chinese phrase: 人生不如意的事情十之八九。 Life is nvr smooth sailing. I suddenly feel tt my future is so blank. I dunno wat will happen tml. Wat if i haven' t accomplished the things i wanna do?
Envy little tiger.for these few days. Suddenly i feel like getting out of job. Yup, i intending to quit next yr. Dun be surprised when reading this. As i say before, wanna treat myself something when i turn 25, but if i treat myself 1 yr earlier, shld be fine bah. Now i planning when shld i pop this to my boss? Definitely not earlier than Apr cos i wanna get my bonus 1st. Well, even if it's 2 mths only, it's definitely better than nothing. Didn't hope more than tt cos somehow this yr when i got my bonus, i dun feel super happy abt it. Probably feel tt the effort i put in dun justify the bonus tt i got. So i'm pretty sick of it anyway. Probably b'cos of this, i seems not to put in >100% effort nowadays. As long as i can get the things done, who cares man! Then in Jun, i defintely need to take my exams so i was wondering if i tender then i dunno i can still apply for leave or not. Hmm... so it seems like Jul will be the earliest, then i gonna give 2 mths notice, so by tt time it'll be around Sep. Well, then i shall go Europe n backpack during the autumn, dreaming rite?
Although i noe tt my boss will be reluctant to let me leave, but i doubt he can give me a mth break. So this is the only solution tt i can come up wif. Mayb boss wil be sad, cos i make so much $$ for him, my mom even comment tt i'm his $$ tree. My boss will be feeling tt he teached me so many things n now i wanna leave so all his effort will be wasted. But somehow i dun feel guilty cos all these yrs, i have been putting in my best effort to perform. Comeon loh, i really need a LONG LONG BREAK! I just dun wan to live wif regrets in my life for not doing the things tt i wanna do most.
Sunday 16 September 2007
Recently my luck must be quite down. On thu nite, when i wanna go board the bus home at my office bus-stop, i discovered tt my Ezlink is not in my bag. I start to panic, wondering where did i lost it. In the morning when i went to office, the ezlink card is still wif me ah. I decided to walk back to my office n c whether it drop in my cabinet. Phew... it really drop in the cabinet.
Sian, this sat working again n in the afternon, got ACCA lesson. Initially wanna go to Chinatown travel agencies wif my sis after class as she oso has class on sat afternoon, but i learn tt Chinatown road is closed for the mid-autumn festival so we decided to go nex time. Initially wanna go NATAS travel fair, but it's held @ Expo, so far away. Anyway everytime when i go NATAS, my main purpose is to take those brochures in the tourism booth, really worth the $3 admission ticket paid. The brochures tt i have is not enuf to fill into my boxes liao....
Yup, have decided to have a family trip for CNY08. Tentatively, our destination is Changmai. We have been thinking of where to go as we dun wan to go to a Chinese destination cos most of the places will be closed during CNY. I'll nvr go for F&E wif my parents, so tt's y we decided to check out at the travel agencies.
Was doing research on my year end destination this morning. Was thinking of going to Kaohsiung in Dec, since i gonna travel alone the 1st time, better play safe by travelling to a destination wif no language barrier. But i'm thinking of how many days should i spend in Kaoshiung n whether should i travel to other towns as the departure flight is either 24/26 Dec n the return flight date is either 30/31 Dec. But i dunno when my boss gonna close office, is he gonna close on 24 or 26 Dec? If i booked 26 - 31 Dec, then which means 3.5 full days there as the arrival time is 12plus n the departure flight is 1pm. Was thinking of gg Alishan, but if only got 3.5 days, not enuf as i intend to stay @ Fenchihu for a day n Alishan for 2 days. Y the airline dun encourage ppl to travel alone leh? An individual tix cost $580 while a pair tix cost $338, adding tax of $137, my tix will cost $717. If i fly to taipei n take the high speed rail to Kaoshiung, the airtix alone will cost me $521 while the train tix will cost $75/way which adds up to $671, just $50 cheaper but waste 4hr travelling to n from. So i have decided to fly directly to Kaohsiung instead. N for accomodation, still looking for cheap cheap one then everything can be within my budget of $1.5k. Shall print out the destinations tt i wanna visit n c how many days i need to spend @ Kaoshiung, if got extra time, mayb i just hope onto train n visit nearby places.
I really hope tt if i travel alone in Dec, then it will train me to be more independent n i shall travel alone in the future since finding a travel companion is extremely hard. N oso save the hassle of conflicting cos can make impromptu decisions as n when i wan.
Wednesday 12 September 2007
In primary schools, there is one v popular composition topic - My unlucky day. When one thing don't go well, a lot of things follow.
Today on my way to work, a lady was standing a step above me at the front of the bus n when the bus turn right, she didn't hold onto the railing n lose control of herself n noe WAT, her left hand SLAP on my face. OUCH! It's so so so painful, feel the burning sensation on my face. Wat makes me even angry was tt it's only after i stare at her for a moment then she apologise n she wasn't apologetic at all. How i wish i could slap on this woman's face n make her understand the pain on my face. N i saw tt her fingernails r not short. I wonder whether is there any fingernails mark on my face. Once i reach my office, i look at my face when i board the lift, there seems to be some mark on my face. N i can still feel the pain...
Then during lunch time, i ordered a bowl of noodle w/o chilli. Dunno the uncle who take order got tell the uncle who cook the noodle tt i dun wan chilli. When i eat the noodle, OMG, it's wif chilli. Well, i'm those who seldom eat chilli cos once i eat, i can feel tt my lips is swollen immediately. Haiz...
Then on my way home today, I was changing bus at the SMU bus stop. Now there is a sign board indicating the arrival of the next bus. The sign board was showing tt my bus is arriving n the next bus is 3 min later. I waited for abt 2 min, only then the bus arrived. Although the bus is packed wif people, i still board the bus cos the next bus is 3 min. Then at the douby gaut bus stop, i saw another 190 behind. I was telling myself tt i gonna alight this bus n board the 190 behind at the next bus stop. N noe wat, the 190 behind did not stop at the next bus stop. Luckily i haven't alight otherwise gonna wait for the next bus for quite long.
When the bus is at orchard far east bus stop, i feel tt i need to go to the loo. Dunno is it b'cos of the chilli noodle i eaten in the afternoon. I've to bear wif it until i reach home 1/2 hr later. Once i reach home, i rush for the toilet immediately.
Today is just not my day....
Monday 10 September 2007
Ytd nite is one of the best nite tt i've ever slept, cos when i wake up this morning, i really feel tt i really rested. It's has been quite a long time since i've this feeling. I only remembered tt i feel tt i really rested during my sleep when i'm sick. For the past 3 yrs, i think i'm only sick abt 2-3times, so which means i really rested on 2-3 nites? I oso dunno y when i wake up in the morning, i dun feel tt i've a gd sleep. Now mom make something for me to drink, so i'm still in the trial period. I doubt it's b'cos of wat i drnk, cos i only drink it for the 3rd nite bah. But mom told me tt ppl will really sleep after drinking this. Hmm... got so 神奇meh, i only drink the 3rd time then 就见效？Drink again 2nite n c the result tml morning when i wake up.
Feel quite sad after watching the taiwan idol drama 樱野3加1 ytd nite. Is it tt i'm too hook on this drama tt i feel sad when there is sad scene? It's seems to affect my mood for the whole day. Well... cos after watching the preview for the next episode, i thought the lead male actor is gg to die.... n he has not confessed his love to the lead female actor yet. Know wat, i re-watch it just now n i guess i interpreted wrongly, i guess the lead male actor is in coma rather die...If he really die, i'll scold the script writer! I was telling my sis how could the lead male actor die, if he die, then no more story already mah.... Counting down to sunday for the next episode.
My mood seems to be affected by the drama tt i watched. So sometimes, i prefer to watch comedies so can laugh laugh laugh. I dislike those sad sad Korean show, draggy n make me sad. Too much ups n downs make my heart go ups n down. N absolutely no horror movie, i definitely have nightmare. Even adventure movie, i may oso have nightmare. Yeh, Mummy 3 is screening next yr Aug. I wanna watch, watched Mummy 1 & 2 n i like it. Then oso got Indian Jones, mayb will oso watch cos heard tt it's adventurous n i nvr watched b4.
Little tiger is starting another chapter, start everything afresh. Roam as much as you can. Seeking greener pastures. U'll have my blessing.
Sunday 9 September 2007
Decided to drop by my daily blog n brieftly blog abt wat i've been doing ytd. In the morning was surfing the net, discovered few interesting travelogue n updated in my link. Came across a 50 yr old taiwanese woman who went to Tibet backpacking for 50 days as a bday present for herself. Wow.... I have been thinking of treating myself a special bday present when i turn 25, cos 25 is 1/4 of a century, this is wat 25 yrs old mean to me. Then mayb when i'm 50, then i treat myself another special present. As for wat the special bday present should be, i haven't decided yet, will disclose when the time comes.
Had P1C lesson in the afternoon. After tt, meet up wif Celine @ Suntec. We had dinner at the kopitiam @ Conventional Hall. Didn't noe tt it has reopen, i seems to have the perception tt it's closed for renovation. Ordered 3 roti prata, wanna try roti john but sold out. N celine oso ordered chocolate toast. Still prefer waffles. After eating all these, still not full! I ordered a plate of Hokkien mee, OMG, how the Hokkien mee is so so so delicious.... Yummy.... Will come back n patronise it next time.
Discovered tt there is a Swiss Culture selling cheese fondue @ Suntec. Noe of cheese fondue when watching the 栋笃神探 @ channel8. It's $38++ @ Swiss Culture which is a bit ex... Dunno other places got cheese fondue @ a cheaper price or not.
We watched 7.20pm Ratatouille. Those people whom have watched it either told me it's a bit lengthly or fall asleep while watching. After watching it, i enjoyed the show, it's one of the best cartoon tt i have watched. It may not be as hilarious as other cartoons but it seems to educate people based on the storyline. As wat Chef Auguste Gusteau says: "Everyone can cook." C, even a rat can cook, so isin't tt nothing is impossible for human as long as u put in ur 100% effort. This is the part which touches me the most.
Went on a shopping spree ytd. Spend almost $200 buying the a pair of shoes n 4 blouses. Burning a hole in my pocket liao...
We left Suntec @ around 11plus n most of the shops r closing. We went to Bras Basah, wanna noe which is the shop tt sell escagots. Gonna try it in the future. Had desert as supper. I ordered 炖蛋, hmm... Macau 炖蛋 is still the best. Celine ordered Ice mango + sago + pamelo. Not bad just feel tt a bit too much ice.
We walked all the way to Clarke Quay to take nite-rider. Yup, walked tt far... Paiseh ah Celine, i really dunno where got nite-rider.
Friday 7 September 2007
Sometimes i just suddenly have some thoughts tt come 2 my mind when i saw or heard something. Guess tt being an adult really thinks too much... Ytd when i attend my ACCA class. I was sitting beside an old uncle who i think is @ least 40 plus n he oso got white hair. I was wondering this uncle so old then still studying, where he got the energy n commitment? No offence to tt uncle, actually i really admire him. I doubt tt if i'm @ tt age, i'll still have the energy n time to study. Mayb i'll be worrying more abt my kids study. So shld study while young cos no family commitment. N i oso dun wan @ at such a age, still w/o a high qualification. Shld oso build my career while young. Changing job is easy but building a career is a mountain to climb. Now i seems 2 lost the momentum n energy n passion. If i'm an express train 3 yrs ago, then i think i'm a choo choo train requiring frequent maintenance now.
Recently my boss is recuiting people. I saw a few resume n i feel how lucky i am to have decided wat i wanna do when i graduate. There is one applicant who study nursing n was a nurse for a couple of years then she switch to studying ACCA n wanna apply for an accounts/ audit assistant possition. Then there is another applicant who graduate from NP wif a diploma wif Merit but just couldn't get into NTU Accountancy course so she chosen Bachelor of Business majoring in IT as her dad wan her to get a degree. Then after she graduate, she could only find IT related job so she went to pursue ACCA n just completed her ACCA course. I really can't imagine myself in their shoes, if at the age of late 20s, i'm just a fresh graduate n could only request for a pay of < $2k. I set myself a target tt @ the age of 25, i shld be earning at least $3k. If i complete my ACCA b4 25, i shld be able to command tt pay. Well, $3k is not a lot cos after deducting CPF, net pay is only $2.4k. Then mayb by the age of 30, i shld be earning abt $5k le bah.
Read an interesting article in Ms Shenton section in 我报 few days ago. I enjoyed reading this section cos it teach people a lot on working life n it's v relevant to me now. This article was saying abt an employee who always tell his boss tt he can't complete the task whenever his boss assign a new one to him. This makes his boss quite unhappy abt him. But in the end this employee is still able to submit the task within the deadline. The advice tt Ms Shenton gave is his boss must have known abt his abilities before assigning any task to him. Hmm.... Y boss r so clever leh? Sometimes i'm oso puzzled as to why my boss assign me task which i dun understand y he assign me task which i feel tt i'm unable to deliver. Now i understand. No wonder my boss told me tt he believe tt i'm able to handle the task tt's y he assign it to me. I just dun believe tt i can complete the task. He say tt if i nvr try, how i noe i can't perform leh.
Sunday 2 September 2007
According to Longman dictionary, disappointed is defined as "sad because something you hoped for did not happen or b'cos someone or something was not as good as you expected". It's best described my feeling ytd nite. 俗语说‘期望的越大，失望得越大’。Is it tt i expect too much? Yah, so i should not think too much. Just let natural take it's course. Mayb i shld not value it @ all cos the more i value it, the higher expectation i have. How come i gotten myself into such a state? I thought i always proud of myself tt i have a v clear mind one, knowing wat i wan n wat i dun wan. Mayb this is something tt does not belong to me...
Enuf of my above paragraph. Ytd watch quite an intersting drama - 清宫风云 (The Great Qing Dynasty). Actually it's has been airing on Channel U for quite some time but i didn't watch it. Somehow ytd i was in my living room n my sis was watching Channel 8 n during commercial time, i tune over to Channel U. Probably the storyline ytd is oso v interesting so it capture my attention. Can visit Channel U website to read the synopsis: http://u.mediacorptv.com/thegreatqingdynasty.htm
Somehow i seems to fancy such drama when a lot of people must be thinking tt such a boring n dull drama. Few years ago, i oso watch 雍正皇朝。 I dun feel tt such drama r boring cos i can learn quite a lot of things from the drama like history, the way the officials pitted against each other in the court...
Was searching for a place called Rothenburg ob der Tauber in Germany which Huifang went - a U-traveller from Channel U Adventure Click. Huifang was mentioning tt she likes this place the most in Germany, so i was wondering how nice is this place. After browsing through bloggers who went there, i came to the conclusion tt Rothenburg is really a place which i must visit if i were to go Germany. This person tooks quite nice shot of Rothenburg n the houses there resemble Colmar Tropicale which i went. But Colmar Tropicale is modelled after Alsace in France. Do visit this person's blog to have a feel of how nice is Rothenburg -
http://guoli456.blog.sohu.com/61623891.html Then oso came across this person who went to Europe for 1 whole mth, so envy of him. But anyway he's a student. How i wish i'm still a student! Will upate this person travelogue on my links in my travelogue.
Oso post a song on my blog. It's 如果沒有明天 by K-One. Nvr heard this song b4 until i load the mp3 dl by my sis into my hp. Quite a nice song. If there is no tml, wat would i be doing 2day? Hmm....
Saturday 1 September 2007
V sian must wake up @ 7.30am 2 work. When is my boss gonna to change to a 5 day wk? People r even proposing a 4 day wk le. In the past, how come i nvr grumble when i need 2 work on sat? Now i really drag my feet to work. Although it's only half a day but it makes a lot of difference. Being HAPPY @ work is oso a major factor other than salary, job scope n career opportunities. Already hinted to my boss tt every sat must come back to work is v tired n sian loh. N a lot of times, on those wk tt i dun need to work on sat, my wks flies cos i look forward too much to wkend. There is oso restriction if i work on alt sat, sometimes i wanna do my own stuff n have to postphone or cancel, sian...
Thinking of buying a egg mixer n a oven today but changed my mind cos my takashimaya voucher dun have expiry date. Mayb look around 1st to find out which brand is better. Must do homeowrk for those things tt i normally dun have it often. So my oreo cheesecake have to wait le....=p
Gonna search for my ACCA P3 notes. Oso have to work out a timetable on my study plan. Although there is a timetable, i may not follow it fully but without a timetable dun even talk abt revising cos human always have a tenancy shift the things tt they dun like to the last.
Meet up wif Celine & Diana for dinner ytd. Had our dinner @ Pizza Hut. We ordered a Hut's platter, a garlic bread n a Hawaiian pizza. After finished our 1st round, we ordered a seafood platter n sausage baked rice cos we r still not full. Didn't noe tt we can really eat. After tt, we went separate way as Celine & Diana r gg to the IT show. I didn't went cos i dun have anything to buy at the moment n there is just too much people. So scary.... where did all these people come from. Wish to buy a laptop but not now cos it'll cost me another bomb.
Forget when is the last time tt i bought shoes/ clothes? Must b v long ago cos i dun remembered at all, hmmm... mayb CNY? Bought a pair of court shoes @ URS. Cost me $39.70 after discount, considered ok lah, cos nowadays seldom got $20++ shoes, $30++ considered ok lah... more than tt, mayb a bit ex.
Seldom shop around nowadays, just no mood to shop. Seems like i dun have mood for a lot of things. Buy things only when i really need it n i'll just go into those shops tt sell the things i wanna buy. My way of buying things is more n more like guys. Is it i dun wanna spend time on doing things tt i feel is a waste of time to me?
Saw someone ytd who resemble a person whom i've not met for 2 yrs. Can't really c cos the too many people on the bus and was blocking my view. I wonder wat would my reaction be if i really saw tt person 1 day? Although we keep saying tt S'pore is v small but how come i nvr encounter tt person for the past 2 yrs? Is it tt everytime it's always go against our wish? The person u hope to meet up would nvr appear but the person whom u nvr hope to meet up wif keep appearing. Hmm... for me... the person whom i nvr hope to meet up wif oso nvr appear....Is it a small world or the world is v big?
